held a door open for a girl today and didn’t even get a blowjob. so tired of getting friend zoned.


"average person eats 3 spiders a year" factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted


why get a job when you can sell oregano to middle-schoolers and tell them it’s weed


Mom call the cops the dangan ronpa bloggers are stapling powerpoint slides all over the outside of the house again


if you ever feel like a failure, just remember that jack crawford and the fbi arrested a vegan as the main suspect on a cannibal case


Yes. I’d like some bird seeds, thank you. and how long does it usually take for the birds to grow.

shrek trek: beam me up, donkey

just found the yaoi to end all yaoi


You have no idea what I’ve been through in my life. I had the ORIGINAL GameBoy Advance. That shit had no light and I had to find the perfectly lit room. You don’t know what I come from.


what if websites had closing hours


*looks in the mirror* what the fuck is that


did i actually save or did i imagine it? better save eleven more times


i cant see any of the main characters in the hp books as decent people because they exist in a universe where there are ways to heal broken bones in 30 seconds or less and depression is cured by shooting silver fursonas out of a stick and they never make any attempt to get any of it to the nonmagical world


straight boys don’t shut their mouths because their lips would be touching and that’s gay


growing up i always thought that quicksand was going to be a much bigger problem than it turned out to be